» time 21 hours ago   » notes 91871

angrykoreanguy:

kammartinez:

Author John Scalzi was on a roll this morning (currently 7:14 AM, 26 Sept. 2014) with a tweet he found from some guy sending out an “ultimatum” to women to “make a choice” between feminism and, well, men like him. So Scalzi launched into a truly magnificent set of scorchers, which I’m posting here for the delectation of people everywhere.

Also: I would like to thank that guy for setting the ultimatum. It makes finding a boyfriend so much easier when the undesirable ones wear a placard identifying themselves.

"The tragedy of that poor boy’s life is not the realization that he’s not the grand prize he’s assumed, but that he’s not even second place."

» time 21 hours ago   » notes 52308

When you are 13 years old,
the heat will be turned up too high
and the stars will not be in your favor.
You will hide behind a bookcase
with your family and everything left behind.
You will pour an ocean into a diary.
When they find you, you will be nothing
but a spark above a burning bush,
still, tell them
Despite everything, I really believe people are good at heart.

When you are 14,
a voice will call you to greatness.
When the doubters call you crazy, do not listen.
They don’t know the sound
of their own God’s whisper. Use your armor,
use your sword, use your two good hands.
Do not let their doubting
drown out the sound of your own heartbeat.
You are the Maid of Untamed Patriotism.
Born to lead armies into victory and unite a nation
like a broken heart.

When you are 15, you will be punished
for learning too proudly. A man
will climb onto your school bus and insist
your sisters name you enemy.
When you do not hide,
he will point his gun at your temple
and fire three times. Three years later,
in an ocean of words, with no apologies,
you will stand before the leaders of the world
and tell them your country is burning.

When you are 16 years old,
you will invent science fiction.
The story of a man named Frankenstein
and his creation. Soon after you will learn
that little girls with big ideas are more terrifying
than monsters, but don’t worry.
You will be remembered long after
they have put down their torches.

When you are 17 years old,
you will strike out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig
one right after the other.
Men will be afraid of the lightening
in your fingertips. A few days later
you will be fired from the major leagues
because “Girls are too delicate to play baseball”

You will turn 18 with a baby on your back
leading Lewis and Clark
across North America.

You will turn 18 
and become queen of the Nile.

You will turn 18 
and bring justice to journalism.

You are now 18, standing on the precipice,
trembling before your own greatness.

This is your call to leap.

There will always being those
who say you are too young and delicate
to make anything happen for yourself.
They don’t see the part of you that smolders.
Don’t let their doubting drown out the sound
of your own heartbeat.

You are the first drop of a hurricane.
Your bravery builds beyond you. You are needed
by all the little girls still living in secret,
writing oceans made of monsters and
throwing like lightening.

You don’t need to grow up to find greatness.
You are stronger than the world has ever believed you to be.
The world laid out before you to set on fire.
All you have to do
is burn.

For Teenage Girls With Wild Ambition and Trembling Hearts, Clementine von Radics (via clementinevonradics)

» time 21 hours ago   » notes 386785

actuallygrimes:

this is the best thing ive ever seen

(Source: catsbeaversandducks)

» time 21 hours ago   » notes 58699

johnnysjetpack:

tchy:

dark-vowelled:

sclez:

durendals:

there is literally no difference between academic scholars discussing their interpretations of a text and a bunch of people yelling YOUR HEADCANON IS WRONG at each other

As a Masters student I can vouch for this.

The difference is citations.

image

» time 21 hours ago   » notes 110333

infamymonster:

fuckyeahfemaleyoutubers:

Disney’s Queen Elsa Frozen - Inspired Makeup Tutorial & Disney’s Princess Anna Frozen - Inspired Makeup Tutorial by Ellend Muzzakky

ARE WE NOT GOING TO DISCUSS HOW SHE  FOLDED HER HIJABS TO LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF THE CHARACTER, THAT IS SUCH A LOVELY AND GREAT IDEA. OHMYGOD

» time 21 hours ago   » notes 6101

bunnyfood:

(via togifs:video)

(Source: alxbngala)

» time 22 hours ago   » notes 2911
unimpressedcats:

this shit is bananas 

unimpressedcats:

this shit is bananas 

(Source: )

weirdedout:

ikeapunx:

muji spice book

Traveling with your spice rack is not ideal. This is why Japanese company, Muji, has made a book of spices to make flavoring your food while away from home a little bit easier.

This book from Muji is full of pages that are made of spiced paper, which dissolve from the heat and moisture of cooking. Now that kick of white pepper or red chili is just a tear away. And, since it is compact and perfectly portable, the Muji spice book is ideal for when you’re traveling!

Omg

» time 22 hours ago   » notes 205
tarynandre:

When life gives you ramen noodles, make the best out of a struggle meal.

tarynandre:

When life gives you ramen noodles, make the best out of a struggle meal.

» time 1 day ago   » notes 507
#/crying/ #block b snapchats YES 

shit block b would snapchat to you.

thesociologist:

Things that could only happen in a Hong Kong protest.

» time 1 day ago   » notes 5768

kakashitting:

one of my all time favourite moments in the entire naruto manga is gai’s face when he hears taijutsu is the only thing that will work on madara

image

that is the face of a man who is going to fuck someone up

» time 1 day ago   » notes 70142

lonelyheartsdeathmetal:

musterni-illustrates:

———————

a new zine called shitty horoscopes that i’ll be premiering this year at the Toronto Queer Zine Fair, among other things! hopefully i’ll make volumes available for online purchase soon. credit where credit is due: this was inspired by the huge number of made-up horoscopes floating around tumblr lately, and angry-poems.

yup, the Libra one is pretty accurate

» time 1 day ago   » notes 4185

clgdoublelifts asked,

hey molly i'm having a slow day and i was wondering if you were in the mood to tell another story because literally i have not laughed as hard at anybody else's anecdotes on this entire goddamn site and it would be pretty rad

ofgeography:

when i lived in spain, i worked as a “bartender” in madrid. i put “bartender” in quotation marks because my boss fernando trusted me with literally nothing but cleaning glasses and occasionally a CLOSELY SUPERVISED mojito. the bar was called “la chocita sueca,” which basically means “the swedish hut,” but can also, as far as i can tell, mean something VERY DIFFERENT and vERY RUDE.

  • this led to a lot of general confusion from the patrons, who were always wondering whether i (the only super, super white person) was The Swede. 
  • "THIS BAR IS NOT NAMED AFTER ME," i would shout, trying to be heard above the music and the huge portrait of elvis that hung behind the bar. "I AM LITERALLY JUST HERE TO WASH DISHES AND MAKE TERRIBLE MOJITOS."
  • "OK BUT ARE YOU SWEDISH?" they would ask me. "LIKE ARE YOU SWEDISH, THOUGH?"
  • "nO."
  • "ARE YOU SURE?"
  • "VERY SURE."
  • "YOU LOOK SWEDISH."
  • "I UNDERSTAND, BUT I AM NOT SWEDISH."
  • "NOT EVEN A LITTLE SWEDISH?"
  • "NOT EVEN A LITTLE SWEDISH. AS I HAVE SAID."
  • BUT YOUR EYES ARE VERY BLUE?”
  • "I AM NOT FUCKING SWEDISH!!!!!!!!" 
  • at which point fernando would sweep in and say soothingly, “shhh, it’s okay. why don’t you go wipe down the vomit on the bar??”
  • rinse. rather. repeat.

anyway, on weeknights when the bar wasn’t busy, fernando always let me come in and talk to him and learn how to make drinks. as someone who hates hard liquor, i was very bad at it. my entire repertoire is a mimosa and a tequila sunrise. in my defense, fernando was aware of this going in. the entire hiring process went:

ME: can i work here?
FERNANDO: do you know how to make alcoholic beverages in exchange for money?
ME: no.
FERNANDO: come on wednesday.

so one day, my roommate bryan takes me out for a delicious fancy dinner, along with his little brother and his little brothers three friends, who were all visiting and sleeping on our floor. on the walk home i noticed that we were going to pass by la chocita (which was about a 5 minute walk from my house). so i separated from bryan and the boys to drop in and say hello to my old friend fernando. 

it’s a tuesday at 9:30p.m. so the bar was naturally empty, and fernando was just chillin’ with the elvis picture and the human-sized statue of liberty replica. 

"maya!!" he said. he called me maya, as did most of my friends in madrid, because it was easier and because i hate the way "molly" sounds when it is breaking up a spanish sentence. "molly" in any language that isn’t english literally sounds like a fart on a first date.

  • "molly" when said in an english sentence: what a cute, rosy-cheeked young lady, probably looking to cuddle a dog and have a good laugh!!
  • "molly" when said in literally any other language: WHAT IS THIS GROSS PIECE OF WOOD IN MY MOUTH?? IT TASTES OF TODDLERS AND THE ASHES OF YOUTHFUL DREAMS.

so in i pop, and there is fernando, who immediately sets to telling me all about his son and how handsome he is and how he’s about my age and fernando’s not saying anything but he’s JUST SAYING—

"here, have some of this," fernando said, and handed me a glass of kalimotxo.

  • WHAT IS KALIMOTXO, you ask? PRETTY EASY:
  • 1. get some cheap-ass wine, like hella cheap, like the CHEAPEST WINE YOU CAN FIND, PROBABLY IN A BOX, PROBABLY CALLED “CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP WINE FOR POOR COLLEGE STUDENTS.”
  • 2. get some diet coke.
  • 3. get some ice
  • 4. combine.
  • 5. “WHAT IS HAPPENING????” - your body, horrified and delighted.

"idk, fernando," i said. "it’s a tuesday? i have class tomorrow?"

"WHO EVER GOT DRUNK ON A LITTLE KALIMOXTO," fernando said.

i took the drink.

  • "WHAT IS HAPPENING????" - my body, horrified and delighted.

"try this, too," fernando told me after a moment, pushing a bright green glass in my direction. "it’s new. i’m trying it out."

"idk, fernando," i said. "it’s a tuesday? i have class tomorrow?"

"WHO EVER GOT DRUNK ON A LITTLE BRIGHT GREEN BOOZE?" fernando said.

i took the drink.

  • "THIS IS DANCING A SAMBA IN MY MOUTH!!" - my actual words to my actual boss.

"wait wait, try this one," fernando added, now pushing a tiny shot glass toward me with gold-colored liquid and sugar at the bottom.

"idk, fernando," i said. "it’s a tuesday? my lips are tingly?"

"WHO EVER GOT TINGLY LIPS FROM A LITTLE GOLD-COLORED LIQUID WITH SUGAR AT THE BOTTOM?" fernando said.

i took the drink.

  • "it tastes like i already regret it!!!" - me, giving the statue of liberty replica a kiss.

"I FUCKING LOVE YOUR BAR NUTS," i said. "THEY’RE THE BEST BAR NUTS I HAVE EVER HAD. CAN I HAVE A POUND OF THEM?"

"okay," fernando said, and handed me a bag of bar nuts as big as my torso. it was very heavy. it was a tuesday at about 11p.m. and i opened the bag, dipped my hand in, and shoved a whole handful into my mouth.

  • IN MY DEFENSE: these were the best bar nuts in the world.
  • i stand by that.

"you should go home," fernando told me, looking suddenly doubtful. "you have class on wednesday."

"WHO EVER HEARD OF CLASS ON A WEDNESDAY?" i said. "GIVE ME SOME MORE OF THE TINGLY LIPS STUFF." it was probably hard to hear me around the bar nuts.

fernando, now very alarmed, called me a taxi. i should remind you that my apartment was a five minute walk from the bar, but with my hands full of a full 3-lb bag of bar nuts that i refused to give back and a my fist closed tightly around the neck of a bottle of tinto de verano, there was really no way i was going to make it that far.

"where to?" the taxista asked. i gave him my address. he blinked at me. "that’s… right there," he said, and pointed.

"yes," i agreed, taking another mouthful of bar nuts.

"we can see it," the taxista said.

"yes," i agreed again. "would you like some bar nuts?"

"….no," the taxista said, and pulled forward toward my apartment, glancing nervously back at the chipmonked motherfucker doublefisting bar nuts and dessert wine in the back of his cab on a tuesday.

"DID YOU KNOW," i said, "I AM NOT AT ALL SWEDISH?"

"okay," the taxista said. "we’re here."

i don’t remember what happened after that, but in the morning i woke up to the following three surprises:

  1. the tinto de verano was nowhere to be found. nowhere. did i give it to the taxista???? did i leave it on the stairs???? HAD THERE EVER BEEN A BOTTLE AT ALL???? WHO PUT SEVEN LEMONS IN MY FRIDGE?
  2. i was wearing socks on my hands.
  3. i woke up to bryan’s brother and his three friends asking loudly, “why the hell are there nuts everywhere?”

"NO REASON," i said.

» time 1 day ago   » notes 67756
wesley-crusher:

deepspacednine:

likeafieldmouse:

Luis Camnitzer - The Photograph (1981)


The Screenshot (2014)

The Reblog (2014)

wesley-crusher:

deepspacednine:

likeafieldmouse:

Luis Camnitzer - The Photograph (1981)

image

The Screenshot (2014)

The Reblog (2014)